I’m chewing white gum that’s lost its flavor.
So, I try to spit it out.
Sometimes, I grab it with my fingers to take it out of my mouth,
But it sticks like sap.
Clinging. Unrelenting. Ever expanding.
Sometimes, I find the glob on my tongue, corner it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth,
And spit.
No matter how hard I try to rid myself of it,
Bits of sticky gum cling to my teeth.
Sometimes, I get close to picking all of the gum particles
Out of my mouth,
But no matter how hard I try,
The gum grows back.
I find more of it, just the size of the original piece,
Hiding, regrowing in my mouth.
I’m never scared or worried that it’ll choke me.
It’s not terror I feel,
But intense frustration.
Each time I think I’ve got it out,
The chewing gum is really still there.
An illusion.
Why can’t I rid myself of it? Why does it taunt me?
What’s wrong with me that it keeps coming back?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your words leave a film in my mouth.
I want to spit them back to you,
But they cling to me.
I never get the comeback right.
So much I want to say,
But I can’t form the words
Behind the film of anger that takes over.
Frustration.
I should have responded this way or that.
Why didn’t I think of that?
Emotions take over and then,
It’s the instinctual fight or flight.
Usually I fight.
Yesterday, I fled.
I’m so tired of trying to make my point.
You’ll never learn.
You’ll never listen.
So what’s the point?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The only way to clear the gum is to wake up.
And realize that it was all a dream.
Wake up and the gum is magically gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let me take your toxic words,
Chew them around into an unrecognizable,
Tasteless mass.
And spit them out to be picked up with the trash.